September has been quite an eventful month. We officially moved to a new house in August and then had to unpack as much as possible with busy schedules and full-time jobs, and P is also completing a Master's degree on the side. My parents visited us in early September, which led to another round of unpacking more boxes. We are getting there, bit by bit but it is hard when we've accumulated so much stuff, and have varying attention spans and energy levels. Which leads me to the next challenge:
Pregnancy.
P and I are expecting our first child in January. She is one determined little girl because 2 weeks ago, she decided she wanted to come early. In mid-September. When she is not yet viable for life. Thankfully, the doctors were able to protect the pregnancy, sew in a cerclage, and keep everything intact. Now, I'm on modified bedrest while we figure out the next steps.
I'm not sure where I am going. Am I just taking the time off on FMLA/medical leave for the next 4 months? Will I be able to have enough benefits stored so that I don't have to be fired for not working or have to leave parental leave early? Will I have enough money to pay my mortgage?
There is also the concern of will my mind be so undisciplined when I return that I can't go back to working?
So much going on in my head, and I don't know what the next steps are.
But knitting has always been there. And I am so thankful for knitting being there, as a distraction, as a creative outlet, as a way to channel my energies and have some semblance of control over things. As a community that I can reach out to, to access, to do Zooms with. The Stockinette Zombies have a twice-weekly zoom, and the Knit Girllls have a once a month zoom, both of which are for Patreon/subscribers. And the mental benefit I've gained from accessing their resources has been invaluable, especially in the last week when I have been feeling particularly down and left out of my friend's wedding activities (We were invited but had decline the invitation due to the pregnancy.), as well as the inability to go anywhere.
So, I've had the idea to start a knitting podcast, more as a way to help me keep track of my projects, stay accountable, and keep sane in this insane time.
I want to do a finish-a-long, a stash-down, except that it is mostly projects that I either started or had kitted up, and never go around to doing it. I have several ideas of what I want to do, including a daily vlog, a weekly or monthly accountability check-in, as well as documentation of the several knit-a-longs that I've joined.
I think it will be good for me. I'm slightly intimidated to put myself out there, both myself as an entity/video as well as literally my face, since I don't want my patients to find my videos and judge me for not being in clinic, and instead cavorting around on the internet making silly knitting videos.
After much hesitation, I did put out my first video. It is poorly shot, poorly edited, but it is done. I have to think about what I want to do next, and how I can make it better. Certainly, I think I will keep not showing my face, and focus on the content for now.